The Road of my Life

2008-08-28T09:07:00.000-07:00

For the first time in my life I felt so much of joy next to getting my beloved married to me is my best friend Petra back in my life again after a 12 years. Dunno who went incommunicable we were not in touch. But power of friendship lived as it has to. I found her all over again in Orkut. Thanks Orkut for bringing back my friend. I spoke to her for a while and thatz the best part. Wooowww what a feeling. How you feel all of a sudden your best friend comes back to you after so long and reminding you of ur naughtiness after 12 long years. My god, I just freaked, jumped cried, laughed and happy all over again. I felt like I got something precious back in my life. My god Im just going crazy. Overall the best thing was my wife was soooooo happy to see my friend back in my life. She was just jumping all over.

A day before all this happened I spoke to my wife that I got to talk to everybody in my college except for my sweetie pie of my college life. But all of a sudden its his wish for us to get to communicate to each other and get to go again with our friendship again for life. Thanks all my god my good luck best wishes and phaps my beloved wife's wish in her heart for my friend to come back. Hmmmmm now Im 110% sure Friendship is soooo powerful, for life and always remain no matter even if we meet at all. Hmmm Im happyyyyyyyyyy.

2008-05-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

Counting my days in this mad mad place

What is it to be in a place where you are expecting to do many things out of nothing, many miles to go when there is no road, many mad ppl around you asking you do this do that and treat you as though you are just another developer, when you have achieved great heights of becoming a big leader a role model, Better get the hell outta here buddy, what are u doing (says my concious). I did what my mind said - Quittttttt this shit and get to go.

Ppl say always the other pasture looks green. When u stay in a stinking place what is big deal even if u dare to take a risk. Im taking that risk. Oh ppl try try when u make it out make it big really big that the current scum cant offer u any thing even near the dust of what u have achieved. Go go gooooo grow big show ppl u are able and a person of achievement, discipline, heights, customer friendly, Easy client access. Dont wait for someone to keep pushing behind ur butt.

It pains that Im leaving my favourite infact my dream company. But thatz a dream that I have to wake up and come to reality. I have to achieve something big which I doubt if I can do it here. So lemme take the long walk. Walk to my future where I believe I would be better placed and Im happy with my career, Finance and ofcourse my personal life. Bless me for my future endeavours. Thanks all

2008-01-02T23:29:00.000-08:00

Life is in need of a change

I need what everyone calls the ecstazy, hmmm well to me ecstasy stands as follows
a) Need a house in beach side, sit on top verandah of the house in a swing with a coffee mug, with slight drizzle and a cloudy day with lotsa waves, listening to illayaraja songs.
b) See my son getting to mingle with more kids and grow like a normal one and not like the usual freaky rich guy
c) My wife in a big house with huge kitchen preparing my fav dishes and singing and dancing while doin it.
d) Free of any debt in any bank at anytime (tough haan)
e) Need of Good friends and ppl around not ones who are like mirage they appear closer and good but they dont really mean to be.

For all these I need a change, I need a change in my work, I need a change in my life style, I need a change in my payscale, and I need a change in my mental stability and finally I need what we all call the best of best. Im waiting not dreaming about it. One day I will be there. Hope to get there sooner.

2007-04-20T03:16:00.000-07:00

Nostalgic

Couple of hours before I was trying to listen to the Bol Sajni Mori sajni Instrumental by ARR. Man thatz when I started to feel nostalgic of my college days. There used to be a girl called Smitha in the 1st Year B.E. and we were in 3rd year. She was our heart throb and I had a crush on this girl (This girl isnt the only one but she is a special one for me). Ultimate beauty with very good looks and nice soft sweet voice. And Guys one would never stop admiring her beauty. Hmmmm I first met her and spoke to her guys were shocked infact their classmates were even hesitant to do that.

I flashed a choclate and told her this for my special friend (my girl friend !!!! crush naah). Then we became friends and I used to watch her practise for this Instrumental by ARR. Mann that was amazing performance by her and dunno why when I hear that song then also I used to have some kinda strange feeling as though Im lost in love and searching for something and she used to dance in front of me rehearsing for the annual day. A thought flashed saying she is the one. But naah that was just a crush.

Those college days who can forget. Now I sit and think and relish my past. What a gloriful and joyous moments it was. Hmmm wish I could reverse my time cycle and go back meet her and the college I studied and meet all my past.

Just a flash of second is enuf to turn u back to the past. Life is short enjoy it as much as possible when u have time or else when u realise that u have to enjoy u would have lost all ur time and age. Live for today and let not go the time.

2007-03-21T22:48:00.000-07:00

Flashes of life

One Fine morning clouds are grey and weather is chill very romantic morning. I sat on the chair in verandah thinking of life of my past and things flashed my way all my immemorable parts of life came in front of me

Garland from Saibaba fell on my Mom's Head when we went for praying for my BE Admission
Breaking the shell and started to talk to girls and just turning to the other side from fruit to freak
Having best time with my MBA swthrt Petra Samuel and best friends Balaji, Senthil, Karthik, Venkatesh, Prasanthi, Madhan, Renu thomas Elizabeth
Everybody was crying on the farewell for departing but I was thinking of my future
6 months of pain to get job
going house to house to do Internet Survey
Selected for Final interview in BHEL from 25000 Candidates and the Biggies were asking crazy questions and pissing me off, making me walk away in anger but sort of sucess for being powerful infront of them
Selected and joined in Vetri software systems in 1999 December,
IIT and Vetri Joint Residential Training course in IIT for 45 days. Heavenly 45 days still green, made a german friend Uteguettel
Brought up in Vetri later christened as Lason India pvt ltd.
Flop show with my Ex GF and success immediately
Went and plucked a flower in a thorny bush when I gave it back to geetha she cried and hugged me
Trip to Mahabs and outing to Mayajaal
Last moments before marriage between us
Got into Covansys and then transferred to Oracle (my dream company)
My son born and they gave him first in my hand, I felt the importance of me and the use of me born on this earth

The List continues........

2007-02-06T04:56:00.000-08:00

Incidents that made me think about the facts of life......

A few incidents which had really touched me and showed me the bare facts of life.

During my school days I used to have kinda crush on a Girl but once the friends black-mailed me to tell her that I was in love and they even kept a bet that it would happen for sure. Once I lost my temper and told go to hell. Now these people told her and she was down upset crying depressed and what not on earth would affect that poor little creature. Then I thought that filmi style she would scold me and blast me cry to me and plead to me. Infact all these happened but what she said and wrote in a piece of paper affected me the most. Here is what she said "Stop all these stupid things and be matured to handle relationships". She wrote and gave "Do not believe false friends they are always there to betray you and ditch you". Still those lines are lingering in my mind and changed my way of thinking towards life

Once when myself when I was with my girlfriend (now my wife) were going around and we became closer to dangerous limits. I still tried to move around with a relationship wrapper of friendship. But that was not the best thing I ever did. Infact that was the most worst blunder I ever committed. Things got worse and we were about to strain our relationship. Then these golden words came blowing like a conch into my ears. "You have to draw a thin red line between friendship and love." Till now that didnt even strike me cuz I believed every relation closer to my heart and didnt wanna put any name for it. But then I realized "we cannot proceed in this world without distinguishing the relationships"."Friends are always different from our own beloved, no matter how close the friends are still that thin red line is there between friends and our beloved ones"

In my ages when I was realizing what the real world is, I used to be more finiky about my religion (the so called one). I used to make fun of others. Infact at times I used to hate the mere sight of them. But later when I joined CHyK (Chinmaya Yuvakendra), it opened my eyes to a different horizon. It showed me what religion is and how is human soul beyond all these man made boundaries. From thereon, I used to see these religion as "Neo sees Humans in the Movie Matrix". "I knew what is religion is what is the real meaning for every religious practice and how we have blindly followed them and now made it a mandatory thing for no reason".

When I started to go along with people in search of my life partner, I lost a few, I felt for a losing a few but I was happy that I got more good people than those whom I lost. Also I did lose people for good. "When I met my real love I then realized that there is still god roaming around just around the corner. I realized whom shud we confide in whom we shouldnt"."What is real love and what is materialistic love.

I got married to my beloved and now Im in bangalore. But when I came here all alone with my wife, it was like lost in the Jungle. My wife and I had to push every other day to just pass it. Things were getting little worse. Had to vacate my rented house, search a new house for buying, meantime my wife got pregnant for which I had to take care of all things in and around her. Finally I some how made it through in getting all these done. But with lots and lots of pain and losses. I had to collect my house keys from the ex-owner only to end up in a life threatening situation where in I escaped by inches from a mob which was on riot. I had to shell out a few lacs of extra money to get my house legal documents done. Run in my weekends to see my wife and my son. All these were running crazy in me all over. But above all these thought me a number of lessons. "Do not rush into things", "Be persistent in getting right things done in the right time", "Be honest and patient to get what you need in the right time", "There is always someone to love you care for you and listen to your worries when you are in trouble (my wife)", "A child in the family will break all barriers between two families, bringing happiness and joy all over".

I recently got a few friends in life, fortunately they all turned out to be my life deciders or in other words guide me in life. One is my sweetie pie who is always there to cherish all good moments and talk all good things, just to show how beautiful is this world. The other is there to shoulder me in all walks of life, assuaging me and understand my feelings and be with me when needed and one who always moniters me in all walks of life and guides me saying and teaching and infact guiding me what to do what not to do. Thereby making my life more seem to be easier. Thus proving again that "god shows ways and is with you whenever you require not in the form as the world sees but in the form of friends", "Whenever or wherever there is a situation always rely on a friend cuz he/she will be the best possible person to help you out".

I met this person in my office who does work so good at times we would think he/she is a genius but at times that person would take to ur nerves that u feel like yelling like hell at the top of your voice. But then the end product would be a sucessful thing with lotsa discussions arguments and ofcourse energy. I attended a Project Management Training and this opened my eyes to handle the team as such saying what to do and what not to do, how to handle critical situations and cater the needs of the team. Now Im sure I can handle any person with any characteristic with ease and bring out the best in them.

2006-12-19T00:10:00.000-08:00

Loneliness....

Im alone......

Whenever I think of my best old friends whom I have lost contact, I feel Im alone
Whenever I see my good best friend being so close for years together all of a sudden dissappear in the cloud, I feel Im alone
Whenever Im away from my love (my wife) and my life (my son), I feel Im alone
whenever I go for a long walk after a depressing day in office or life, I feel Im alone
Whenever I see my family struggling with some problem and that Im not there to help them or they are not there to help me, I feel Im alone

But......

Life is full of challenges and future is dark so I will fight it and I see my true friends still with me besides those who have gone away, Im not alone...
My wife is always there to open the door of my sweet home having a bright smile and a kiss of comfort to say, Im not alone
My Son gigglin with his innocent smile in his face and his eyes bright and hurling towards me with his tender legs, I feel "Damnnn Im not alone"

All in this world keeps changing and if Iam ready to take up that change and live with it. Im not alone. Change is the Changless activity in the World. So let me keep moving till I feel Im enough for this world.

Loneliness is something which kills people and create a kind of depression, I have been into it several times, but it is my true friends, wife and my son who are more than anything in my life had kept the tempo going and Comforting me all my way till the end.

Im proud and thankful to god for giving such a life to me and such good people around me....

2006-12-15T01:34:00.000-08:00

Nothin Official about it....(Part II) - Team Work
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Teamwork is the concept of people working together cooperatively, as in a sports team.
Large ambitious goals usually require that people work together, so teamwork has become an important concept in organizations. Effective teams are an intermediary goal towards getting good, sustainable results. Industry has seen increasing efforts through training and cross-training to help people to work together more effectively and to accomplish shared goals, whether colleagues are present or absent.
“The old structures are being reformed. As organizations seek to become more flexible in the face of rapid environmental change and more responsive to the needs of customers, they are experimenting with new, team-based structures.” (Jackson & Ruderman, 1996)
Team Player
A 2003 national representative survey, HOW-FAIR, revealed that Americans think that 'being a team player' was the most important factor in getting ahead in the workplace. This was ranked higher than several factors, including 'merit and performance', 'leadership skills', 'intelligence', 'making money for the organization' and 'long hours'.
The meaning of being a team player has been reevaluated, though, by those that analyze workplace dynamics through the lens of racial, cultural and gender diversity. In this view, evaluating employees on being a team player may sometimes be a shortcut to imposing the default cultural norms. People who behave outside of the implicit and default norms may be perceived not to be team players. Implicit and default norms often include unwritten, unspoken cultural norms. It is the difference between individuation, maintaining a sense of self and identity in an organization, and losing the self in the organization. If you work as a team, you work together. Remember, there is no "I" in team... there may be a me, but dont forget there still is a WE.
Skills needed for teamwork
Aside from any required technical proficiency, a wide variety of social skills are desirable for successful teamwork, including:
Listening - it is important to listen to other people's ideas. When people are allowed to freely express their ideas, these initial ideas will produce other ideas.
Questioning - it is important to ask questions, interact, and discuss the objectives of the team.
Persuading - individuals are encouraged to exchange, defend, and then to ultimately rethink their ideas.
Respecting - it is important to treat others with respect and to support their ideas.
Helping - it is crucial to help one's coworkers, which is the general theme of teamwork.
Sharing - it is important to share with the team to create an environment of teamwork.
Participating - all members of the team are encouraged to participate in the team.
team work is the key to a win in a game team is like a beam, that can se seen, from even the very far gleam.
Team development
The forming-storming-norming-performing model takes the team through four stages of team development and maps quite well on to many project management life cycle models, such as initiation - definition - planning - realisation.
As teams grow larger, the skills and methods that people require grow as more ideas are expressed freely. Managers must use these to create or maintain a spirit of teamwork change. The intimacy of a small group is lost, and the opportunity for misinformation and disruptive rumors grows. Managers find that communication methods that once worked well are impractical with so many people to lead. Specifically, leaders might encounter difficulties based on Daglow's Law of Team Dynamics: "Small teams are informed. Big teams infer."
Team roles
[[Meredith Belbin (1993) basing on his research proposed nine roles that successful team should have:
1 Coordinator. This person will have a clear view of the team objectives and will be skilled at inviting the contribution of team members in achieving these, rather than just pushing his or her own view. The coordinator (or chairperson) is selfdisciplined and applies this discipline to the team. They are confident and mature, and will summarise the view of the group and will be prepared to take a decision on the basis of this.
2 Shaper. The shaper is full of drive to make things happen and get things going. In doing this they are quite happy to push their own views forward, do not mind being challenged and are always ready to challenge others. The shaper looks for the pattern in discussions and tries to pull things together into something feasible which the team can then get to work on.
3 Plant. This member is the one who is most likely to come out with original ideas and challenge the traditional way of thinking about things. Sometimes they become so imaginative and creative that the team cannot see the relevance of what they are saying. However, without the plant to scatter the seeds of new ideas the team will often find it difficult to make any headway. The plant’s strength is in providing major new insights and ideas for changes in direction and not in contributing to the detail of what needs to be done.
4 Resource investigator. The resource investigator is the group member with the strongest contacts and networks, and is excellent at bringing in information and support from the outside. This member can be very enthusiastic in pursuit of the team’s goals, but cannot always sustain this enthusiasm.
5 Implementer. The individual who is a company worker is well organised and effective at turning big ideas into manageable tasks and plans that can be achieved. Such individuals are both logical and disciplined in their approach. They are hardworking and methodical but may have some difficulty in being flexible.
6 Team worker. The team worker is the one who is most aware of the others in the team, their needs and their concerns. They are sensitive and supportive of other people’s efforts, and try to promote harmony and reduce conflict. Team workers are particularly important when the team is experiencing a stressful or difficult period.
7 Completer. As the title suggests, the completer is the one who drives the deadlines and makes sure they are achieved. The completer usually communicates a sense of urgency which galvanises other team members into action. They are conscientious and effective at checking the details, which is a vital contribution, but sometimes get ‘bogged down’ in them.
8 Monitor evaluator. The monitor evaluator is good at seeing all the options. They have a strategic perspective and can judge situations accurately. The monitor evaluator can be overcritical and is not usually good at inspiring and encouraging others.
9 Specialist. This person provides specialist skills and knowledge and has a dedicated and single-minded approach. They can adopt a very narrow perspective and sometimes fail to see the whole picture.

2006-12-10T23:57:00.000-08:00

Nothin Official about it....(Part I)

Hey people letz talk about our offices. Many of us have various views of work Culture and here is my version of the story-Retrieved from American University Press

Work culture what it really means?

R e c r u i t m e n t
Convey your press’s commitment to diversity
Know the stated employment policies of your parent institution. If it is an Equal Opportunity employer and/or Affirmative Action employer, include that information in your recruitment material.
Consider alternative recruiting resources
Advertise in an alternative publication targeted to a specific readership in your community.
Know your staffing agency
When hiring a temporary employee, use an agency that recruits individuals from a variety of backgrounds. Your university’s purchasing office probably maintains a list of minority- or oman-owned businesses; among them you are likely to find an agency that emphasizes diversity.
Take advantage of university resources
Services such as employee assistance, human resources counseling, and an office of minority affairs are available on most campuses in one form or another. & Participate in internship programs and university-sponsored career fairs. & Establish an internship program at your press.
Create a mutually beneficial interview process
When candidates come to your press for an interview, arrange for them to interact with a variety of individuals. This provides candidates with a better understanding of your press and also provides the hiring supervisor with feedback from a range of perspectives.
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R e t e n t i o n
Create a supportive and welcoming environment
Hold a welcome reception for new staff. & Make a special effort to include staff in activities and discussions and create alternative opportunities for staff interaction. & Recognize accomplishments among staff. & Raise awareness at your press about the inappropriateness of jokes or comments that perpetuate racial, religious, or sexual stereotypes. & Plan press events and schedules around the major holiday of employees’ religious and ethnic groups. & Avoid establishing a work culture that assumes all employees share the same social, racial, andreligious characteristics.
Identify opportunities for professional development
Encourage senior colleagues to mentor new staff. & Offer continuing education opportunities to the staff. & Nurture talent to promote from within.
Revisit performance appraisals
Introduce alternative models for annual performance reviews, such as employee self-evaluations and employee evaluations of supervisory staff.
Accommodate alternative work arrangements
Keep an open mind to the feasibility of flexible work hours, job sharing, and telecommuting. These options might be just what it takes to keep a valued colleague.

2006-12-05T00:25:00.000-08:00

Most happiest moments in life

Okay here are my most happiest moments in my entire life

1) When I first got my B.E. Admission after desperate struggle.
2) When a garland from Saibaba's feet fell on my head signalling all good future
3) When I first met my real good friends in College, Maya, Deepak, Karthik, and many more to come
4) The day when I got my job when I was jobless for 9 months
5) The day I met the supposedly girl in my life (But that flunked miserably) p'haps not mine
6) My Birthday in 2001 when my wife then friend Geetha celebrated my birthday
7) When my mom accepted my marriage with geetha even though she was orthodox. She was so kind enough (But involved lot of convincing and blood shed from ears and eyes) to accept for our marriage though she was a Christian(Huh when will this generation change). I see people still within the lines, The Matrix.
8) Our marriage day, it was a triathalon event, Hindu wedding morning 6-10AM, Christian Wedding evening 3- 6pm and Wedding reception at 7-10pm. Man that was tiring. We were running here and there like in the movies. The End result "Happiness" which I always wanted.
9) March 8th 2006, the Day when Adhitya alias Adhi was born and came to this world. He is a tough guy though. Faced lotsa problem right from the creation in the womb till the delivery of him.
10) Happened yesterday 04-Dec-2006. I got my M.S. Software Systems Degree Hiphiphip horrrayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Im soo happy. It was my life time dream. Huhhhh atlast. I have done it. Yes yes yes yes. Yeppieeeeeeeeee yooooooooooohhhhoooohhooooo

Still to continue...

2006-11-30T01:21:00.001-08:00

Real Love came my way....

Now I was not a idiot to loose it anymore. I was in depression and was in a situation where I thought this is the end of world and everything is going away from me. Literally I went down to pieces. Eagerly waiting for someone to rely on, a shoulder to lie a lap to sleep. Then came the Angel in my life. Her name is Geetha. I was thinking whom to go and speak out and suddenly she flashed in front of me. On my birthday nobody were ready to celebrate it cuz the house was in chaos and lotsa tensions in the house. I went to her and told can we go out. She asked if we can go to Sai Baba temple. I told yes immediately. We went there and we went to the beach next to that. I was sitting quietly not knowing what is happening around me. Thinking and tears running in my eyes. She then saw a few other girls there in the beach and told she would just go and talk to them. I thought she is just trying to build friends. Suddenly the world's most surprising thing happened.

She called me and surprise!!!! There with those girls there was a cute little choclate cake with one candle in it. She gave me a knife and told happy birthday and they all sang the birthday song and made me cut the cake. The moment I cut the cake tears started to run down cuz till now in my life nobody has done like that. Even my parents didnt bother to do that small lovable act. It was a small cake but still it is the turning point in my life. I then asked her if I can hug her and cry she told yes. the moment the finished uttering the word. I was literally crying like a kid hugging her. she then told those golden words. "Im there for you from now on, Dont tell that u are alone in this world". Man it was so powerful and soothing that we almost forgot that it was our first outing and started to talk talk talk talk talk talk and it was almost getting nite. Then while starting I asked her the most daring. "Shall I kiss you" and then without waiting for her reply kissed her and man. I felt I was flying and my life turned back to happiness from then. And then started all great things.

First I refused just because she was a Christian and thought we cannot get together. Then after gathering enough courage to get to the thought process that she will be my life forever I said yes we will go from now on together in life. We were to celebrate that moment but that happiness ended in disaster with their family urging her to get married cuz she was gettin older and she started to love me so much that she hated to go and see that guy who was coming home to see her. We went all round the city and she was crying the whole day and finally she told I would just go and say no and come back. But what we thought would be dangerous just went like a wind. Things started to cropup like issues from her side and she was under fire. I couldnt open my mouth cuz my sis has to settle. So many things were running around us. Finally she broke the issue open on February 2002 and they called me up and spoke to me and then came yes after so much of struggle and now their family was okay and waiting for my reply.

I didnt open the mouth and tried to push the stuff long and was just playing around. But once I opened the issue. Again a unexpected thing happened. My mom accepted and thought all in the world is green and things would go so sweet. But my so called relatives called up my mom and started to spoil the decision taken. And they infact suceeded in that attempt. My mom was totally brainwashed and she started to cry everyday blast me left and right and treatment went worse. One day Geetha called me home and I forgot to delete the number. She called up geetha's office and blasted her so badly hurting her to the core that she was ready to leave me if I say yes. We then sat to gether and then I convinced geetha to get cool and then told a big lie in my housee. I will stop these and be quiet from there on nothing seemed to be problem cuz I tried to maintain this big lie for more than 2 years from then.

Life was pretty okay in the last half of 2002 and first half of 2003 we were just roaming and tried to some stupid things like the reel-life love and then thought these are waste of time and then started to introspect into each other and stopped all these artifical paper love and started to live the real life where pain and happiness come hand in hand. We started to think of the future and how we will be getting married. Then we once planned to go out by cheating home and go for a day out. A incident came as a strong slap on our face. She met with accident and then we thought how foolish it was to cheat the house. There on we didnt have much choices. Suddenly their house started to put pressure. I then asked my father (sweet person to accept my love in the first time) to come to their house and give a ray of hope. That was done and things got normal and we did all these without my mom's knowledge. My mom was having a growing suspision on us and my behaviour as such. she started to inquire my friends and also started to have doubt in me. Things started to worsen more and more. Now I had a chance in my career to move to bangalore

I then went to my mom and told look Im going to go away from you and stay in bangalore atleast now accept my love and hurray it worked. But now this time the decision was to stay for good. She was brainwashed and we in the family my sister all tried to keep her up with the decision she had taken. We struggled really hard and made both the parents meet. It was like two titans clashing. First question my mom asked them was "will you convert my son" they said no and also told he can marry Geetha without any such church activity. And one thing I should say about them is. They lived to their word and promise. And my mom immediately asked to fix for marriage dates and everything started to double up in speed. Talks were held in September 2004 and marriage was decided in November 2004 itself.

Both type of marriages were planned and morning Hindu Iyengar Way and the Evening Church wedding and nite Reception. The Girls house took full responsibility and carefully noted whatever my mom wanted for marriage and did everything to utmost perfection and satisfaction. Right from every aspect in hindu marriage till the food items for all the occasions. Everything was done perfectly. Things went so good that my mom was so happy and told even a Brahmin Family wouldnt have done to such perfection and was so so happy abt the wedding. She came in Madisar ( traditional Brahminic costume and I came in Panchakacham) marriagge in Hindu way happened happily pepepepepepe dumdumdumdumdum

Then the church wedding. I changed to suit and she changed to another saree with small cute crown. We all sat in church and father started the wedding mass and then came the important moment. Tying the Thali (Mangal sootru). I tied and gave a huge sigh of relief (ahhh atlast done). during that time I didnt see the thali I tied in the hindu wedding in the morning. lately I came to know that if that was seen by the father he would have stopped the wedding. Then I came to know actually they have tied that under the necklace in such a way that it didnt show up. Smart haan. And then finally everything went on well and we had a nice reception and I still had the last fear in me of people disturbing my mom. Nothing big happened and things came to happy ending.

After all such chaos fights and sacrifices here Iam with my wife Geetha and son Adhitya settled in Bangalore working for oracle.

A few points for people who are in similar grounds or wanna have a love life sucessful.
* Never try to play with the sentiments of love and the lover. Dont try to do cinematic love by proposing many and selecting one. Flirting around not thinking practically abt life postponing it after marriage which is always disastor.
* Try not to fall in love and say love is blind. Think practically, if it is workable, if yes then proceed if not part as good friends and never ever meet again
* Raise in Love and make it more mature rather than think love is all sweet and marriage is hell.
* Think of every other possibilities of issues after marriage and have an understanding with ur beloved on what will be the outcome and how to handle it.
* Mutual flexibility and understanding of eacch other's needs and satisfying each one's desire by sacrifising one's need.
* Love ur friends and dont keep the unnecessary relatives around they will always cause problem. They will always come for advice and always worry you.

My next posting will be a new one surprising yet knowledgeable.

2006-10-19T01:50:00.000-07:00

Love Played with me once...Later I discovered that this one is not Real Love in my life and not my cup of tea.

Hmm now letz come to hear about the sweetest and the sour part of my life. After getting a Job and getting kinda settled in life. I thought why not try to get into this kinda personal stuff. Then it all started in the place where I hated to do such things. Chinmaya Mission. There was a girl called Deeptha, We met in July 2000 and soon we discovered many common interests and became so close that we started to share somethings which both of us dared to share with even our family members. We used to go around and all that was green and good for a long long time. We went camps and got even more closer knowing each other and at one point my amma was so happy to get me married to her.

Then something sparked in my mind. Why not wait for some more time love for some more time and then go to her house speak to their family and get engagement done. That is the biggest blunder I did in my entire life. I at that time was earning something which barely sufficied my needs. So thought lets go together for some more time. And one day I still remember it is a day in December 2000, I got a confirmation from her that she is in love and she asked me to propose to the girl I love and she said these words "Rajesh you are the sweetest person I have ever seen in my life, even if you go and propose to any girl she would accept you without any second thought, so better propose to someone whom you think is ur best friend, Im you best friend right". This is it, I reached heavens, felt like this is ecstasy, life and what not. Then she came and told she would tell me in February during the Valentine's day about her love. I waited waited waited..........

There was one guy called Karthik who was a Dr. So we used to call him Dr. Karthik, he was a flirt and going around with babes dating and dancing and what not (these words might show up like Im saying these in anger that I lost the girl but, I knew this guy 2 years before even I met Deeptha). None of us in Chinmaya Mission had good opinion abt him. Suddenly dissappeared for 2 years and came back one day when Deeptha Joined CHYK, then on he was regular. I was thinking he was trying to fry groundnuts and get some babes into his hold and flirt. But I didnt expect that thing to happen in my life.

This guy, myself, Deeptha and some of my best close friends Archana and preethi, my brother Krish all went to a spiritual camp in bangalore and he had impressed in some good means (I dont want to say any foul abt them cuz they have started to love and even got married so why say bad abt them). Once we were back things changed, she stopped talkin to me more, she explicitly asked me to stop talking to her in fone and asked to stop meeting in beach. I suddenly felt that I was dropped off and neglected. Once we went to beach with Dr. Karthik. Have you seen the movie "Kaadhal Kondaen" . We were sitting just like that in a bench I was in middle and these two were side by side. And they spoke abt their love and I sat between them with a doubt on both of them and with tears and fears in my heart that I would lose her. Then it happened....

Few days to valentine's Day, I get a call from Preethi ( my best friend) and she said these words. "Rajesh do you know who Deeptha loves, It is not youu (Tears started from my eyes, heart started aching and I felt like fall on the floor and cry and kill myself) It is Dr. Karthik Rajesh it is Dr. Karthik". Thatzzzit Thatzzzit I started to get nervous and called Deeptha. I asked her are u loving Dr. karthik. she immediately with all happiness she told "yes", I then started to cry over the fone "why did you do that to me", I thought I would be the first to propose you and get you my angel into my life, But this Nut didnt understand that u needed Dr and not me and I cried like a kid to her and then hanged up the fone. Then we met thrice then and that is it. I was sick, tired, depressed abt my failure and I had a friend called Rajagopal, Deepak, and my own sweetheart Geetha who all consoled me and made me realise failure is a stepping stone to sucess in love life. I went on to Love Geetha and marry her get back the best part of my golden precious love life. Now I have a Kid Adhitya (Life and soul of our love life). We are living happily and touch wood everything is going good, till date.

Still to come, my Real, realized, matured Love life.

2006-09-29T19:23:00.000-07:00

Jobs Jobs Jobs..............Then came the Eye Opener

Okay all that greener College days were over. Remember my love life of failures and sucesses came after my college days. I finished my College in April 1999. I then started the hunting in the concrete Jungle for a Job. During that time the stupid News agencies used to put. Those who finish B.E. Computer Science can start with a minimum of Rs 16000/- which during that time was too much of a salary. I had been floating and hopes high and aiming high started to enter the Jungle.

Only then came the real real face of the industry. At that time the IT industry was booominggg. And those who went courses in NIIT, Aptech and some training instutions like that were getting jobs so easily and they started with a good decent 4 Figure salary. I still didnt get any, it then striked me am I wrong or the way am I searching in the wrong places. Man that 7 months of no-job time was the hell in my life. I did marketing selling things on road, went housee to house to do internet survey, went to small scale companies to do survey, got cheated by a Job consultant lost money. Parents started to see me as a pain cuz I used to shout at them cuz of my jobless state but actually they cared for me a lot.Things were going pretty bad until December 1999 when I got my first Job and I stayed there till July 2004.

But I could come out of that hell only by a eye opening Spiritual Organization called "Chinmaya Yuva Kendra". This temple was the place that changed my way of thinking about life. My Guru Swami Mitrananda was an eye opener for me. He and the instution made me to see people beyong religion. Openly speaking I was in a closed box not knowing what is real and what is my religion all about. Then came this ultimate heaven which thought me that Hinduism is a way of living, it is the science of living and people must be seen as humans not as Hindu, Christian or a Muslim. That is when I started to see things differently. Have you all watched "The Matrix" Movie, everybody whom I met had told me that it is highly tech movie and computers viruses and what not. But when I really saw the movie the it has to be interpreted, then I realised mannn have I been in this MATRIX till now damnn. I have put a border for me not in physical sense but in my mind. This is silly. Why have I been like that. From then I did an introspection on me and found mindboggling blunders that I have comitted. I did disrespect many people. hated may at sight huhhh why why what am I doing in this world. Why am I here for. Things changed when I was getting answers for these questions. Hmm that is the best part in my life.

In CHYK, apart from these spiritual awakening. We had lot of fun and good learning experiences. we used to go to Camps, Stage Dramas, Bhagavad Gita Gyana Yagna. Every aspect of life and guess what it was a good mutual organization where all girls and boys meet and mingle with each other without any silly feelings and we behaved with good motive. Had a lot of fun there and lots and lots of friends. We used to stage Dramas based on Removing the Line of Control (LOC)that in the Mind of people and dramas like Bharati (based on Spiritual Life of Bharathiyaar the unsung hero of our Freedom). Kambar Ramayanam (Kamban Tharum Kaatchi).

We used to make lot of messup. Once I did Hanuman in Kamba Ramayan there was a scene where I need to plead to Sita that I'm messenger of Rama and give her the ring that Rama had given. Then when Ravana comes in I have to hide out behind a tree. All sets were in place and I have to keep my Gadha behind the tree and hide out. But when I was hiding out my gadha fell on the floor and Ravana came in. Everybody in backstage got tensed and I didnt know what to do suddenly my stage coordinator comes and handed over a small stick with a ball in its end painted. He asked me to get in to the stage with that stuff. Im a huge guy 6 footer and 42 Chest. 161/2 Biceps. What these people gave me was a like chopsticks iin my hand. Man I didnt know what to do.. Then I told my people not to worry and I would handle the situation. Then after a few minutes it would be like Sita would go to hang herself. Then I should jump in and save her telling that I would save her and take the message back to rama that Sita was safe. Then it clicked. I jumped in rolled over and while rolling over took the gadha in my hand and landed chanting Ram Ram Ram. Man everybody backstage cited a wheeewwwww and u know what the entire audience clapped for my performance on stage. Phaps they did know I messed up the scene. These are just some of the unforgettable experiences in my CHYK life. I still go there and pay tribute and contribute to the people out there cuz that is the place where I realised many things and that is the place I thought I lost my love life. But it actually started.........

2006-09-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

My Happy College Days
Now Im in college and you will not believe I found what is real friendship in there. Talked to more girls not just to go around with them but to make them good friends too. That was the best thing I ever had in my life and the worst part too. Cuz I knew every single girl in the college and the surprising thing is everyone of them knew me. Soooo the Romeo's wanted an Intro to these girls and so everytime I did this people were jealous about me.

I had a friend my very own best friend to whom I felt very Kush. Her name was Petra samuel. Ever wondered if I could meet her. If that happened I would be the happiest perrson in life. Okay lets come back to the flashback. Haaa she was the first girl to tie a friendship band. She was the first in my life to wish the Valentine's Day. And she was the one who never let me down in front of her so called friends.

We had lotsa fun in the College. We were in the third year of College and there was a sudden strike in the college (ahhaaaa super superrrrr). Happily started the day standing in front of the gate and the 180 odd people were in front of the college gate. That Lousy Chairman of ours who didnt even know how to speak good English didnt show up. We were pissed off and things were slowly going out of control. It all ended with lotsa violence activities. Me going to Vice Principal and talking to him. Met the police commissioner and getting the management office boys arrested for mishandling students. At last what we achieved was nothing absolutely nothing. Those who started the strike went for a movie and the second day of strike we went to movie. Hmm to what was finally done. Hmm hmm nothing.

Then we had the Culturals in our college and this is the ultimate time when we had the hell of fun. We got the first prize singing the Manirathnam movie song that is without instruments. And there started the fun. Everytime our Operational Research Professor comes to office we used to humm in the class. That nutty professor was always thinkin that Im the one who started so made me sit in the first row and asked me to open my mouth and sit(Alfred Hitchcock move). Then it was I who initiated with a move and then they started it all. Man that was ultimate.

I was suspended in the college for twice, once for ragging cuz the junior stud was asked to buy one kg of sweets and come to college and it wasnt me but some nutty friend of mine whom we call "Thakkali Deepak". He was a mini road roller by himself. So 11 of us were suspended. The funniest part was there was a different stud name in the list and my dear friend to save him stroke of his from the list. When the chairman asked who was in that list who was struck off told "Sir that is Rajesh I know for sure". I tasted the sweet just like that every other 45 people who travelled in that bus did. So suspended. Then I took my father to meet the VP. He comes there and shouts infront of the VP that my son has made a blunderr kindly forgive him and he asked me to say a sorry with a written letter. Huhhh then he came out and asked why did u do this. I literally shouted at him and asked him to get outta my college immediately. My god then there was a inquiry committee. The Juniors were asked to sit in a big row, there was a single chair in front and then infront of the chair the management along with my English chairman were there. Then passed thro the Inquiry and was re-admitted. The for the strike I talked abt, for that too I was suspended.

Then it was time to make it a hat-trick my god my friends used to talk talk talk talk in the class as though they have never talked. There used to be a Lecturer who just came outta college the previous year. So she was unable to control us, started to cry and went off. I was the class representative, went to beg pardon. And these silly nutts treated me so badly I was pissed off and they were making fun of my class and my friends. I threw the pen in desperation which accidentally hit a lecturer. that is it was suspended again. Hurray suspended for the third time to celebrate that great moment went to the class. Huh my dear classmates were even more kind and affectionate to me that all 65 of them went to VP and asked to suspend them too. Huh the best in my life. And that was all fun with my college.

Hey hey I forgot something which were naughtier enuf for me to get caught red-handed in my home. Hmm lemme think. Here we go. We used to go in a college bus which crossed a Ladies special bus that went thro one of the Ladies Colleges which is best (You know what it is). We waved our hands to the babes who were in there. And in that bus my sister travelled. Before even I could reach home she went home and complained to my mom. The moment I entered the house, Bloodshed started aiyoo the worst of the blast I had. I put my hard foot and stayed that I didnt and it was my look alike friend in the bus. Atlast huh my mom believed me. But my sweet sis didnt wanna stop there went to my dad and complained. I thought thatz the end of life. Man I had the best surprise in my life. He said let him enjoy the college days and waving at the babes. Man I thought then I had the best father in the whole world. hmm remember him askin me to confess infront of the VP. It all got erassed of my mind.

And one final incident I used to continue this waving habit and one final day our romeos in bus bet me that I cant give a flying kiss to the girl whom I waved hands daily. Then The lion in me waked up and I finally got up and sent a kiss flying all way. uhhh what a day. She started to have a heavy crush on me. Started to spy me in college and one day during the College Culturals she comes and meet me. Man that was kewl. She gave her hand and ahaaaa kewl one. And asked me if I remember her. I said yes.

Then finally after the final year that girl got married too. Now our sweet romeo was still hunting for his life life life life life. Then college got ended, everybody was crying and hugging as though nothing is gonna happen. Then we had this yahoo groups. And you will not believe we are still in touch out of the 66 studs 45 of us are still in touch. Its 7 years since I finished my college and still going strong. That is friendship. Now I know why I didnt cry on the final day of my college.

2006-09-14T11:21:00.000-07:00

My Life as a Kid started as every other kid in this world. Except for a few things. I didnt enjoy the things like what these Gen-X Guys and Gals enjoy. Cuz that was not my piece of Cake when my Kid life passed away.

A Little Glimpse into my School
St.Johns School was my place and I had every damn thing known there. Apart from the Education which I dunno if it had helped to reach where Iam right now. But one thing is for sure I learnt something or other from that school. All interesting things started when I was in my Teen schooling. Your butterflies fly and look for girls. Try to act smart (Did I look smart???????). Even a word with a Girl will make chill run down my spine. Roaming like a teen - romeo. But actually I was like the TVS 50 on the Signal. Have you seen the TVS 50 when it starts from the Signal it zooooommmmssss but later you realise within few seconds you are the last and every other vehicle moves out. I was like that thinking smart acting smart everything was staged by me. But there were people to outsmart me huhhhh those macho kinda Boys. Although I looked macho. I couldnt do anything with that.

But things changed when I reached 11th standard. There were two girls. Lavanaya and Vidya. I still remember those two girls cuz they were the only people who studied in our class. And you know what in the entire class of 40 people only these two sympathetic girls existed. And in that I had a great greatttttttttttt crush on Lavanaya. Cuz she was cute smart and very very brilliant. She used to get 1st Rank always and I used to get 12th Rank. Not a big difference. The only scene was that I was the last Rank holder the rest failed miserably. This is the Place I was so happy. I (TVS 50) was faster and brilliant than others who failed (CYCLE).

And you all know that there would be a gang to moot you (In tamil we say usuppu eathi vidarathu). Everytime she smiles at me these so called friends used to say. "Macha ava unna thaan paaku raada(That Girl is looking at u only)". The Butterflies by now started to beat faster.

Months went and I had a great improvement. Started to talk to her quite often. One day we all used to go to the Maths Physics Chemistry Tution in our neighbour. All of us including that mooting gang was there. She my so called heavenly angel also came there. One day my closest friend who is there as my friend till now pulling my legs all the same way he did that day. He and another friend of mine had a bet on my life. You know what one guy told he would go and tell Lavnya that Im(Rajesh) in love with her. The other one says that you cant do that. See these two play with my so called love life. And finally the guy who told he would go and tell won the race. Went to Lavanaya and told that Im in love. My god hearts started to beat faster. I cried she cried and these gangs were off the next day to school. She came I saw her she just literally looked at me lika insect. Hmmm what to do what to do. Idea I thought I would write a letter and keep that Im innocent(actually wanted that love to happen). And did that sucessfully. But that letter without even open was torn into pieces and thrown into the dustbin.

I thought it is enuf lemme stop. You know what she failed in the Math exam( The Subject which she used to get 100). My o my then made this desperate attempt. Spoke to her. Aaaaaaaaahhhhh what a relief. Blood was flowing in my ears. She cried and I cried again. And she started. "Stop all these nonsense", "Dont say you were not responsible for this". I said " Yes Im responsible for this and Im sorry it wont happen again.

With this little love(Actually if I think of it now it looks like a kids show an infactual act. My god why did I do that) But one thing for sure happened which Im very very happy abt that. She adviced me not to believe false friends and asked to grow up. And surprise after so long 14 years she is still my best friend and whenever we meet. We ask abt our well beings and thank god she is the best in whereever she is. Im happy. Okay timezup. Will keep yo all posted abt my next phase in life. Getting admission into college and my Ultimate College experience.

Rajesh M (Time: 12:07 AM, 15/09/2006)